Your Story: Why You’re Reading This Book

Just as becoming a parent changes who you are, it also undoubtedly changes your sex life. After all, committed relationships are built on predictability, dependability, and accessibility, whereas let’s face it: sexual attraction is often about spontaneity, unpredictability, mystery, and danger. And it’s pretty hard to be all mysterious and unpredictable in between scheduling play-dates and mommy-and-me classes.
Building sexual anticipation—a key to getting that wanting part back—is hard enough in any long-term relationship, but when you throw kids in the mix, it really can brew up some serious trouble. Let us reassure you—you’re not the only ones. While we both came from this topic from very different places, it’s clear to us that Sex After Baby is still a topic that people navigate like a minefield. In his practice, Ian comes across couples struggling to get “the magic” back—or get any magic at all. Heidi still gets letters from moms across the country whom have read her book and want to share their relief at the realization that they are not the only ones going through this. It’s also a reality we’re both still living, every day, even as we write this. We’re dimpled-knee deep in this too. Throughout the book we’ll continue to share our own personal stories with you, as well as give it our best shot to speak, and spark debate, on behalf men and women everywhere who are living and loving in the time of colic.

• Here are some signs you’re a part of this unfortunate “club”:
• You ask your OB for “another six weeks of freedom”
• The mind-blowing sex you used to have now just blows
• The TV is turned on more than you are
• You want to want sex, you just...don’t
• You’d rather go on a play-date than another bad date-night
• The baby gets more kisses and cuddles than you do
• You’re beaten down and (beating off) from always having to initiate sex
• You have a user-id like “sexydad” or “hungrymama1”
• Foreplay has become chore-play
• “Let’s get it on” are now fighting words
• You’d rather sleep than sleep with your partner
  

Sound familiar? Don’t panic—you don’t have to throw out the post- baby sex with the dirty bathwater. The good news is, because we’ve been there ourselves we won’t try to sell you a bill of goods we all know isn’t true; we both agree we can’t give you a quick seven-step program or promise great sex in just ten days. But by joining us, you’ve taken the first real step in making it right. You’ve started a lifelong conversation about sex and long-term love and how to keep that from becoming an oxymoron. And while we can’t give you a magic cure, we can share our experience with you, and give you some strategies and skills to help you alleviate your acute symptoms of “parent-no-sex-itus” and offer some long-term prevention. We can get you talking about sex, get you communicating and connecting again, even if you’re not always agreeing.