I have three kids, C-section scars, and a belly that won’t quit. Why is my husband is still buying me stripper lingerie?

Heidi: Yeah, guys. About that lingerie: tight, show-everything fancies might tickle yours, but they can leave us feeling a little hippo-in-the-hammock. Leave the prickly gear for pornos and porcupines....I recently came across a statistic that said something like 75 percent of men end up buying their ladies lingerie for Valentine’s Day, but less than 10 percent of women actually want their guys to buy them lingerie. So what’s the deal, Ian?

Ian: Speaking as a guy who has bought my fair share of lingerie for Lisa, much of which has gone unworn, we often buy it for perfectly good reasons: to be intimate, personal, naughty, sexy; to recognize that underneath it all we still recognize or yearn for the naughty sexual vixen that resides within you. Sometimes we buy lingerie that actually embodies (in your body) a little bit of unconscious, or not so unconscious code for an aspect of sex we’re looking for, a provocation to turn our bedroom into a playroom. Buying you ridiculous lingerie is our little bit of sexual optimism. ‘It’s about breaking out of our usual roles and reclaiming something sexy and secret that’s only between the two of us. That’s what we’re trying to do by buying this stuff.

Heidi: Aww. That’s sweet. Okay, you can buy ‘em, but that doesn’t mean we’re going to wear ‘em. How about we meet in the middle? Something slightly more modest and significantly more comfy--negligees that show off breasts but cover the belly and butt and hit mid-thigh, leaving the details of what’s to come to your (and our) imagination. That way we can uncover what we want as we go; let us hike it up and take it off as part of the slippery, silky fun.