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QUESTION: "During a session of cunnilingus, is there anything
I can do to speed up the process?" (Jack, 27)
ANSWER: Whatever you do, do not attempt to speed things up by increasing the pace of your clitoral stimulation. One of the main complaints women have about men's oral habits is that they're too fast and rough. So if you "tongue-fuck" her, or flick her clit like you're a porn-star, in order to move things along, you'll likely derail the entire process and possibly even hurt her.
Also, do not do anything to indicate that you're in a rush or growing impatient. Don't sigh or groan; don't get angry or frustrated; don't glance at your watch, and certainly don't say anything like "come on, already."
Remember the Three Assurances of Cunnilingus and pay particular attention to #2:
- Going down on her turns you on; you enjoy it as much as she does.
- There's no rush; she has all the time in the world. You want to savor every moment.
- Her scent is provocative, her taste powerful: it all emanates from the same, beautiful essence.
Know that one of the most common anxieties women experience during cunnilingus is a fear that they're taking too long, so if she even senses that you think she might be taking too long, her anxiety may well become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Foreplay is the key factor. The more a woman has been erotically stimulated during foreplay, the more easily, and quickly, she will reach orgasm.
Additionally, there are key moments during a session of cunnilingus when the introduction of a new element or variation—a tongue stroke, a finger, stimulation of the clitoral-cluster (also known as the G-spot)—will often hypercharge the process and take the action to the next level.
It goes without saying that a man should understand the female process of sexual response and be able to draw upon a wide variety of techniques when stimulating her. As the saying goes, "a stitch in time saves nine."
But beyond general experience, a crucial factor is often the familiarity and intuitive sense of knowing that comes from being intimately involved with a woman and learning first-hand what works and what doesn't.
Henry David Thoreau wrote "Not that the story need be long, but it will take a long while to make it short," and the same can be said of cunnilingus. In order to create a short work—one that has all the power and resonance of a longer one—you must know your craft as well as your subject. And such intimate knowledge comes with time, practice and dedication. |
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