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QUESTION: "My girlfriend says she doesn't like cunnilingus
because it hurts. I don't get it. How can it hurt? I went down
on her once and now she won't let me do it again. What did I
do wrong?" (Steve, 32)
ANSWER: You may have been too rough, or over-zealous, without even realizing it. Ask her if you can try again, and assure her that this time you'll be gentle. Let her know that you'll stop immediately if she says the word. Remember that the clitoral head is extremely sensitive, and many women cannot bear even the slightest contact— particularly at the start of a session.
Going forward, be as gentle as possible and avoid direct contact with the head until she's amply aroused. Focus on what you can see: her labia and vaginal entrance; pay attention to her perineum. Don't forget about her front commissure and frenulum, the areas just above and below the head. (click here for a map of the vulva)
Apply halfway licks instead of full licks; avoid the head completely.
When you do stimulate the head for the first time, press the soft, wet tip of your tongue into it and then hold the position. Like a gentle mist, engulf the head in the moistness of your tongue.
Let her ease into the feeling of your tongue against her clitoris. Stay still, let her initiate the movement; let her determine the appropriate amount of pressure to apply against your tongue. Let her lead in the dance between clitoris and tongue. |
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